When I was 12 years old I suddenly grew a pair of B-cups overnight. While I didn’t really notice or care too much about it, my mother, after watching me bounce around our neighbourhood for a few days, quickly dragged me to Eatons department store (yes, I’m that old) and slapped a bra on ‘em. Apparently, I learned early on, proper young ladies shouldn’t ‘bounce’.
I don’t like rules. Something about them just seems so…restrictive. Speeding limits for example. I take those signs to be more like suggestions for the new drivers. I’ve been driving for over 10 years. Unquestionably I should be able to interpret the rules of the road by now. If this were properly measured in post secondary education terms at this point I’d have a PhD in driving. Maybe two. Sure I could take the exit ramp at 40km/hr as your sign says but if I can take it safely at 60km/hr then why slow down? 90km/hr on the Vancouver highway is a good suggestion but I think I’m going to go 115km/hr anyways, thank you very much.
I’m currently enrolled in a social media-marketing course at the University of British Columbia and today they unveiled the Rules of Blogging. Immediately I felt my spine stiffen and my arms automatically crossed in front of me. Okay teachers, I’m listening. Bring on your ‘rules’.
Rule #1: I have to be honest. Transparency is the proper term and is key in the blogging world. If you lie on the Internet, you’ll eventually be found out. The Internet audience is a fickle one and they love a scandal. When prompted, they will call out liars as loudly and as quickly as they can type. So my original post for today was going to be about my time in 1960s Korea as a Geisha Girl but since I have to be ‘honest’ I obviously had to change topics. Sheesh.
Is fashion the only avenue left where rules can be broken and creativity allowed free rein? Remember when red and pink or orange and purple ‘clashed’? Or when you couldn’t wear white after Labour Day for some inane reason that no one can even remember? And wearing stripes and patterns together? Unthinkable. No underwear with short, short skirts? Scandalous. These days, those rules we strongly adhered to are now lost forever in the past and the mash up of patterns, colours, designs and styles can be seen on any high fashion runway or high school classroom.
As I am forced to follow the rules in my corporate world (I’m no fool – they pay my bills) I relish in breaking them everywhere else: I say what I want (“Yes, unfortunately your baby is ugly and 10 months later you still look like you’re pregnant”); I bake without recipes (add chocolate chips to flour + various liquids, then bake till edible); and I invent parking spaces (I thought those diagonal lines at the end of the aisle were there to show you that it IS a parking space).
So when I get home from work, before tossing off the heels, before slipping out of the skirt into some comfy joggers and right before I scrub off any residual makeup that’s managed to linger on my face after a 10-hour day, the very first thing I’m going to do is take off that dang bra. It may have gone up a few cups in size and is definitely made of better quality material but it still remains an archaic relic of conformity and definitely needs to go.
Take that, society!