`tis the season (pt II)

‘Tis the season to pretend to care, to fake niceties to those you’d rather not, and to show love and affection to people you`d normally ignore in the street (in-laws & coworkers anyone?). ‘Tis the season where everyone is forced to be generous, to show goodwill towards mankind and to repent our selfish ways (relax though- it’s only for a few weeks).

Yes ’tis the season of guilt.  Face it – when was the last time you donated to a charity because you wanted to? Gave money to a homeless person on the street because you felt like it? And dare I ask: When was the last time you donated your spare time to a worthy cause out of the goodness of your heart?

What`s that now – feeling a little guilty? Perfect because ‘tis the season for it.

You should also feel pretty normal too because only 33% of the population volunteers their spare time to worthwhile causes (compared to 26% of our American counterparts). But don’t go cheering and patting yourselves on the back just yet because within that 33%, the majority of them are at least in their ‘60s and 10% of this entire group do most of the work.

Alas, my fellow young/lazy folks (young being aged 59 & under, lazy being lazy), we can’t just let those active sexagenarians show us up. What we need to do is both painfully obvious and obviously painful: We need to get out there and give. We need to do more than plan on doing something one day and actually do something right now.

Volunteering can be hard and I sympathize with your hesitation. We have to pencil in the time, find the money to give, donate the hours, and worse yet – actually show up as promised. We can’t TIVO giving and we certainly can’t PVR our volunteer time (trust me, I’ve tried).

JLo posited correctly when she sang about love not costing a thing. Something else that don’t have to cost a thing: Volunteering! That’s how much you get paid too so everyone is equally @ $0. Equality rules!

So put your wallets away, get your butts off that old couch and tell your tired excuses to go to bed. It’s Volunteer Time.

Get your butt off that dirty thing!

Nelleytimes’ Lazy-Guy/Gal guide to volunteering:

Lazy-Guy/Gal Complaint #1:  Do I have to leave my couch?

Heck no!

  • You can sponsor a child online
  • Heck, you can sponsor a whole gosh darned village online
  • Sign online petitions (use your JohnnyBong or Emma6969 email addresses for extra points)
  • Send emails to friends and family members to donate to various causes you’ve signed up for
  • Clothing/toy/appliance donation pick up – right at your front door. Get rid of that old 42″ flat screen to make way for the 52″!
  • Make an online donation to a charity of your choice

Lazy-Guy/Gal Complaint #2 Do I have to spend money?

Heck no!

  • You can help pick up toys at drop boxes
  • Go through your closets and give your 2 sizes-too-small pants you`ll fit into again one day to someone who can actually fit into them now
  • You can be a Santa (you might even get paid in some instances!)
  • You can donate those dusty cans and boxes taking up space in the back of your cupboard
  • You can be an xmas meals on wheels driver
  • Ask any charity in the area how you can help out
  • How about serving or preparing food at a soup kitchen?
  • You can box up donations at a local food bank
  • Volunteer as a clown/helper at a local hospital

Lazy-Guy/Gal Complaint #3 – Hmmm. That all sounds like too much work. What else can I do?

What you can do is get the hell off your lazy ass and get out there and pick something to do and give back to your community you no good son of a …Er -what I mean is, if none of the options above are available to you for whatever reason, then please feel free to check out other options online:

So there you have it. Problem solved. Pick any 10 items from the above lists and get to it. This is a great start. If everyone gets involved, we can conquer Christmas! (cuz that’s the point, right??). Plus, once that’s done we can start working on bringing about world peace, ending world hunger, and then fix this whole global warming thing we used to hear so much about (if that’s still even broken). It’ll be lots of work, it may take up a lot of our spare time and it might just be a thankless task. This won’t be a problem though because who do you think is up to this challenge and is ready to sign up?

Well personally, I volunteer you.




I was originally very charity minded in last year’s ’tis the season.

Couch pic source/ gift pic source


2 thoughts on “`tis the season (pt II)

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