Get your dukes up

Bring on the good times! 

With Christmas now officially over, kaput and done with (stuff it Santa!); we can finally focus on what really matters about this joyous holiday season: the chance to save up to 50% off our favourite brand name items. The time of year has arrived where we can turn those highly desired gift cards and highly undesired crappy gifts into items you truly want. Yes, it’s Boxing Day across the land and all the good (and bad), naughty (and nice) boys and girls can be on this VIP list.

As a veteran Boxing Day shopper, I’ve noticed Boxing Day shoppers can be categorized by 2 types of people:

Those who get it.

And those who don’t.

People who get to the malls right before they open on the 26ththey get it

People who get to the mall at 11am and circle for hours in search of a parking spot and wonder why it’s so busy: they don’t get it

People who bring the biggest car with the biggest trunk: they get it

People who take public transportation and just want to get ‘one thing’: they clearly don’t get it

People who camp out overnight to be first in line: Jury’s still out. While I admire their dedication to the day (because they get it!), I question the sanity of waiting outside in the cold for hours to save $110 off a 32’ Sony Bravia TV (so in this case – I don’t get it)

Boxing Day. What’s the point?

The point is to get as much as possible for as little as possible with minimal wastage

Wastage: (noun)

  1. Spending money on crap you wouldn’t take even if they gave it to you

CAVEAT: Now  just because it’s half price doesn’t make it a great purchase. 40% off crap is still 60% more for said crap than you should be paying for it.

As you know, I enjoy telling people how to do things my way (AKA the right way) so here’s my…

Handy Guide to Boxing Day: Doing it right the first time.

–          TIME:

  1. Plan ahead and as far in advance as you can. Dec 27th of the previous year is definitely not too soon. Starting earlier helps you to learn from your previous mistakes. (remember that time you woke up late? Mistake!)
  2. And for goodness’ sake arrive early! Forget job interviews, funerals (trust me, he ain’t going anywhere), and live births: Boxing Day is the one time when arriving early really matters.

–          PLACE:

  1. Check it out online: Many retailers give you a sneak peak at the potential discounts you can expect on Boxing Day. Can’t find it online? Call the store and ask. It’ll save you time and angry fist waving to know what you can expect in advance.
  2. Make a list and check it twice: (take a cue from Santa) Because you can’t just buy anything. That’s an amateur mistake. Make a list of the things you want and want to buy for less. List everything you would possible buy if it was on sale.  Include condos, pets, and motorcycles too – don’t forget, you drove that U-Haul to the mall for a reason.
  3. Pick your locations wisely. By definition, outlet malls are cheaper and should be frequented first. Malls second, and boutique and specialty shops last (if at all).

–          PEOPLE:

  1. Get the proper team in place: your ideal team is small (2 to 3 people), agile, possess strong elbows, long reaches and upbeat personalities.  There may be high shelves, highly desired items in other customers` change rooms and long lines out there so you need people who can get you through those times (and act as distractions as necessary).
  2. As the day progresses, if anyone in your team shows weakness, drop them off at the nearest food court to keep watch over the bags. This ain’t a joke – it`s Boxing Day. You need to either keep up or keep guard. This is what you sign up for. No bathroom breaks, no snacking, and no naps. You can always stand to lose a few and you can sleep when you’re dead.

New Developments

With the recent creation of a Boxing Week, some people believe they can show up anytime that week and get the same selection and bargains I get on day one, hour one.

These delusional fools obviously had too much spiced nog. That’s the time to get the best deals you’ll ever get. Trust me. The people who arrive early enough to get these deals will NOT divulge them to commoners in order to keep them for ourselves.

Which is why I’m giving you this handy guide for NEXT boxing day (if you even remember it then-muhahahahaha!). I’ve already gone and done it for 2010. I’ve raided the outlet stores, emptied the malls and scooped up the best bargains and lowest ticketed priced items. All that’s left now are sequined flannel pyjamas, bedazzled ties and edible socks. All at 10% off though so please enjoy your mid week savings.

Are you ready for Boxing Day 2011? Please read the following and let’s find out.

A simple Boxing Day Test:

–          An additional 25% off all sale items!

–          Buy one get one free on anything in store!

–          An additional 40% off all sale items!

–          50% off the entire store!

–          Up to 80% off red ticketed items!

–          Over 500 items priced at $10 or less!

–          Nothing priced higher than $9.99!

It’s a simple test really. If these Boxing Day banners above don’t get your blood pumping, your heart racing or your mouth drooling, it can only mean one thing:

You just don’t get it.

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sale sign picture source

25% off sale sign picture source

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2 thoughts on “Get your dukes up

  1. I am so over boxing day! I used to go through the whole ordeal, but I am at a point in my life where I ask myself, “what’s worth more; the discount, or my time?” Usually, the answer is time. Unless it’s a really good deal on a pair of shoes that I have had my eyes on for 3 months. Then it might be worth it.

    I hope you had a wonderful Christmas!

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