Food on Sticks

YAWN! (rumble)

Bored and feeling nibbly, I decide to take on a new, part time, and mostly temporary career. As experts recommend, I took two of my top self-diagnosed strengths: criticizing and eating, and came to a logical conclusion – I was both hungry and feeling the need to opine. This then led me to a career related decision – it was time to let my inner food critic out.

Nelly the Food Critic

Next, liking this whole dual combination theme, and having the perfect item on hand (convenience rocks!), I easily find the first item to put up on the judge’s table:

Cupcake pops!

Whimsical, fanciful, relatively new and wonderfully unknown to many, cupcake pops are to dessert lovers what vodka is to my martinis – a natural fit! Attending a fund raising bake sale (I live to give…to my stomach) I pick up my first cupcake pop made by local bakery Sweet Teas Cupcakesand am both excited and annoyed:

Excitement = So pretty! So cute! So yummy looking!

Annoyance = $3?! For 2 bites of cake?? Yes, I’m cheap but I can also buy a slice of cake for $5. Heck, I can get a whole cake for $10! This had better be an amazing 2-bite cake bit.

After taking a few perfunctory pictures (smile for the camera lil cupcake pop), I take a huge bite into this delectable looking baked good and it’s………..

I luv u so much I'd marry u!

Disgusting.

The cake pop was heavy. Which should have been my first clue that it wasn’t going to be the light and fluffy treat I envisioned. It was like eating a chunk of half-cooked pound cake dunked in super sweet fondant icing. I force myself to chew as its mammoth, unwelcome shape lumps around in my mouth, my tongue unwillingly pushing it side to side.

Finally, after much hesitation, and quite a few pep talks, I choke down the half chewed mass. I wonder if there are any rules in this food critiquing business. Like rule #1 – do I have to eat all of anything I decide to critique?

Looking down at this un-delectable, un-yummy creation, and glancing at my garbage can in the corner, I know there’s only one thing I can do with this ‘crapcake pop’.

I take another bite.

I dislike u so much I'd divorce u & leave u with the kids...

Confirmed. It’s just as bad as the first bite but this time I intelligently decide to spit it into the garbage can versus taking on wasteful calories (food critiquing rules be damned!).

As most of my blog inspired part time jobs (pie critic, art critic, trade show critic, etc. ) my role as food critic was fun but seemingly short lived. The thought of having to force down another wad of yucky cupcake on a stick in order to critique it was both unpleasant and undesirable (yet not altogether unreasonable – suffering for my readers!)

However, as my friend pointed out to me, there are so many tasty food items out there that come on sticks, I can easily branch out and move away from just ‘cupcakes’ on sticks.

Genius!

Later, on my way out that night, I pass by my local Starbucks and see another stick-ed food item:

Mmmmm. (pic via Starbucks.com)

Cake pops! So whimsical, so fanciful, and so completely different from those cupcake pops I’ve heard too much about.  What a unique and original idea. Nelley the Food Critic is back with her next original ‘food on stick’ assignment – Cake pops.

Ooo I can’t wait to try one!

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Cupcake pops pic source
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